Coaches Corner: Disappointments

Disappointments in life will happen. Life is not easy or fair, and none of us are exempt from struggles or disappointments. Do not fall into the entitlement trap. There will be things in your life that will throw you off course. But you can get through it - we are all in the same boat.

Write down challenges you may have encountered in a situation that disappointed you, and grow from them. When I become disappointed, I journal all my positive attributes - my strengths and characteristics, even if they seem minor. That is what builds your confidence.

As an NLP practitioner and have worked with a Master NLP coach, I have learned to recognize unhelpful negative core beliefs, and I have challenged myself to build positive core beliefs. When a disappointment comes, I apply the principles I have learned to help curb my frustration and disappointments.

One way to do this is to shift the focus from what went wrong to what I learned from the situation. I ask myself: What can I take away from this experience? What did I learn about myself? What can I do differently in the future?

By answering these questions, I motivate myself to move forward and take proactive steps to improve.

Another technique I use is to practice gratitude. I make a list of everything in my life that I am thankful for, such as good health, a supportive family, and my faith. It is easy to get caught up in negative thoughts when we experience disappointment, but consciously focusing on what we are grateful for can help shift our mindset.

Lastly, remember that setbacks are temporary and do not define who you are. You can overcome challenges and come out stronger on the other side. It is essential to take a step back, breathe, and remember that every disappointment is an opportunity for growth and learning.

Regardless of your personality or situation, disappointment challenges us to identify our beliefs about God and ourselves. It forces us to determine where we place our trust and reveals the areas of our hearts that need healing or growth.

The truth is that God takes you through the disappointment valley for a reason. So, if you’re disappointed, don’t waste the opportunity to allow God to train you. Seek His perspective and guidance. Allow Him to work in your heart and mind. Trust that He has a purpose for your pain and that out of it, something new will be born. Isaiah 66:9 states, “In the same way, I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born.”

If you are after happiness, a response to a particular event or situation, you will be disappointed. If you think the position you applied for or the relationship you want will bring you happiness, you will be disappointed. It is joy that resides deep within your heart and will erupt as you become you authentically. But it is up to you to do the work and show up.

I had a beautiful and timely (because I was feeling disappointed) conversation with someone this past week, and he told me that he had read my story twice. This person’s heart was now filled with joy as he shared with me how he began to unravel the things in his life that were no longer fulfilling. It was the jumpstart he needed to live his life purposefully, and yes, he did it scared. He is well on his journey of living his dream, which was explicitly given to him. He is now inspiring and encouraging others to live their passion and have a more fulfilling life. I am so incredibly proud of him.

What is success for you? Define it. Don’t spend your precious time that will jeopardize your character. Life is not a popularity contest. Be brave and courageous, and begin by climbing your mountain, but do it with integrity and honesty.

I strive to be my best every day, learning and growing from my experiences and interactions with others. Ultimately, success for me is about living a fulfilling life, positively impacting the world around me, and leaving a lasting legacy.

Remember, disappointment may be painful, but it’s not the end of the story. Your story is still being written, and God is the author. Trust Him with your disappointments, and let Him bring you to a place of hope and restoration.

“Disappointment is the gap that exists between expectation and reality. ~John C. Maxwell

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